One of the sweetest moments during my training as a trauma informed coach was learning about the Internal Family Systems (IFS).
This system allowed me to finally understand the different parts of my personality that were formed through many traumatic childhood experiences. I needed these protector parts to keep me safe and so did you. As we become aware of the "why" behind each part, we can them understand the way to heal our inner child and integrate that part into our adult self today.
When working with my clients we do a deep dive into how their protector parts show up and why. Then we release them from their position and status in our lives. Which then creates a powerful transformative change inside of them where calm, peacefulness, courage, strong sense of self-worth, grace, and mercy can take their place.
No Bad Parts: Understanding Why Our Protectors Show Up
Have you ever found yourself procrastinating on something important, snapping at someone you care about, or avoiding situations that could move you forward?
It’s easy to feel frustrated with ourselves when this happens. But what if I told you that these behaviors aren’t bad parts of you?
They’re actually protector parts—parts of you working hard to keep you safe.
Inspired by the work of Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we learn that there are no bad parts. Every part of you exists for a reason, even if it doesn’t seem helpful on the surface.
For example:
Procrastination might show up when you’re scared of failure—or even success. It’s your protector trying to shield you from the discomfort of being judged or overwhelmed.
Anger might flare up as a way to defend against vulnerability or prevent you from getting hurt.
Avoidance could be a response to unprocessed pain, reminding you that something feels unsafe.
Perfectionist is a response to not wanting to let others down and to prove you are excellent at things.
Emotional Eater might show up when your physical and emotional needs are not being taken care of, and you feel unseen or unheard.
Judgmental/Gossiping is a response to needing to feel worthy and enough.
I have a list of 40 different protector parts (it is not exhaustive of all the parts we may rely on to protect us, but they are the most common that show up for us). If you would like to work through them, then simply contact me for the list. Next be sure you get my e-book Your Brain is Speaking and Your Body is Listening along with the Mental Wellness Self-Care Workbook.
Each protector part is a trauma response...
These parts aren’t trying to sabotage you—they’re trying to protect you from emotional pain. They learned their roles during difficult times in your life, and they’ve been working overtime ever since.
What if, instead of judging these parts, we got curious about them? The next time a protector part shows up, try asking:
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
“What do you need from me right now?”
“How can I work with you instead of against you?”
When we approach our parts with compassion instead of criticism, they often soften. They don’t want to control us—they just want to be heard and reassured.
Imagine yourself for a moment at whatever age you felt the most unseen or unheard, sit with and comfort her for a few minutes and speak the following to her and yourself (give yourself a hug with your eyes closed and fully soak in these truths):
I AM ENOUGH
I AM WORTHY
I AM IMPORTANT
I AM LOVEABLE
I AM SAFE NOW
I will be doing an inner child healing video that will be on my YouTube channel, so be sure you are subscribed to it...you will not want to miss out on this powerful session together.
May God bless you on your inner healing journey!
Jill | INNER HEALING COACH
ICF Certified Somatic Integrated Trauma Informed Coach ™
CPD Accredited & Certified Integrated Trauma Informed Coach™
Certified Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach ™
Certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist ™
Certified Brainspotting Practitioner
Certified Mental Wellness Coach
www.innerhealingcoaching.com Questions, please email myinnerhealingcoach@gmail.com
Follow us @innerhealingcoach
NOTE: I AM NOT a licensed medical professional. Please seek a medical professional for treatments, medical advice, or before you start any new wellness protocol.
#lifeafterabuse #lifeafterdivorce #truthsetsusfree #lifeafter50 #narcabuse #narcsurvivor #hormonerebalance #happyhormones #womenshealthover50 #healingyourinnerchild #healingafterdivorce #healingafterabuse #healingafterloss #thrivingnotsurviving #jesusislife #faithoverfear #abuserecovery #abusesurvivor #innerhealingcoach #innerhealingjourney #selflove #myhealingjourney #mindsetiseverything #kegelworkout #pelvicmuscles #pelvic_floor #pelvicinflammatorydisease #rebounder #reboundingworkout
Comments